Finally, the truth about soccer

A brilliantly funny article about soccer, a most unskilled, noncompetitive and effeminate sport.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123680101041299201.html

In addition to the author's well articulated arguments against this stupid pastime, I'd like to add my own major complaint: offsides.

In contact sports (football, basketball, lacrosse, hockey) the great moment is when one player is bold enough, brave enough, cocky enough to fall into the backfield and hope his defender is unable to keep up or falls for a head fake. In basketball it's the "fast break". In football, it's when a wide receiver loses the corner who is guarding him and makes a catch for extra yards.

It's always a risk. if a basketball player makes a run down the court, and his team loses possession, they opposing team has a 4 on 5 advantage. If the wide receiver goes far, the QB is waiting longer in the pocket putting more pressure on his offensive line to hold off a sack. But the pay offs are tremendous not just in points but in confidence and rattling your opponents. Watch a great wide receiver outrun his corner, make a catch for 20, 30, 40 yards and see the way it rallies the entire team.

Soccer eliminates this potential. "Off-sides". The inability, by rule, of the offense to get ahead of the defender takes away that propulsion of excellence. It punishes risk. It handicaps the brave by containing them. And most of all it prevents the better team for beating the weaker team. In a nutshell, it is unmanly and noncompetitive.

What is the purpose of sport if risk and skill and speed and power are limited by rules?

If soccer would eliminate the offsides rule and allow for fastbreaks and solid offense, it might make the sport more palatable. Might.

In the meantime, I stay in the camp that soccer is an awful sport. Kids need to stand at the plate and strike out or stand at the free throw line and shoot a brick. Eventually, with practice and time and more time, they will get a hit and make a basket. And that is a moment they will never forget.

I didn't.