This Makes It Official

Newsweek magazine must have a crystal ball. The front cover of it's next issue boldly proclaims:

So, there you go. Newsweek has declared the recession over and the economy "back". And this is truly, to use their headline, "remarkable".

And I, the narrator of guffmanandgodot, declare cancer eradicated. Hurrah! Hurrah!

This is the same Newsweek, who's editor in chief, Evan Thomas, while being interviewed on Hardball with Chris Matthew stated "We stand for something – I mean in a way Obama’s standing above the country, above – above the world, he’s sort of God."

To which Chris Matthews responded "Yeah". That's some hard hitting journalism!! Maybe they all sat around after the interview, when they were done solving the world's problems, and wondered if Jesus was as smart as themselves...

It only makes sense that if Newsweek can deify Obama, then it can also declare the economy sound. "Let there be prosperity! And there was prosperity. Newsweek saw that the prosperity was good. Thus evening came and morning followed, the second day."

Media bias is one of those themes beaten to a pulp and yet we've barely scratched the surface. Today an editorial in the New York Times supported military tribunals for terrorists. Funny, Bush didn't get that editorial. And the Obama Justice Department is pressuring Google and Yahoo to release emails without a warrant... yet I've heard no Rachel Maddow screed about "shredding the constitution".

So if you can scrape together $2 and need a good laugh, go buy the newest Newsweek magazine and rejoice in America's return and celebrate the great god who stands above us all, Obama.

Millions can do this because they don't have jobs. Can you use foodstamps to buy a magazine? Eh, just call it toilet paper. Same difference.